This morning is the last official day of the 30 day blogging challenge, and as you can see,this is like post number 20. Missed a few! Anyway, I really wasn’t certain about what I wanted to blog about today. It gets harder and harder to come up with ideas as you get further along into the challenge. One of the things that was emphasized in the original set up of this challenge was that we are to share what’s on our hearts, write from this place. On some days, that was easier than others, and last night, I was wondering just what was still left on my heart that I wanted to say.
I got my answer this morning. E and I were getting into the car and getting ready to pull out of the driveway, when she commented on the radio playing (my husband had started the car up for us and left the radio on.) She expressed how she wanted it off, and I agreed with her. The conversation then snowballed into how the news is always something negative. I said how even our alarm, which is set to radio, starts off with something bad most mornings. “145 dead,” “School shooting”, “train crash,” etc. I told her that they take the worst situations and blow them up into a “this could happen to you” kind of scenario. It all coalesces into an entity that causes fear.
That got me thinking to the connection between emotions and healing. Many of us parents are in this state of worry and fear. We are bombarded with it everyday, every time our kids have a tantrum, every time they have explosive diarrhea, or they begin headbanging. We see our kids lagging further and further behind developmentally and we wonder if they will be independent or able to make friends. Then the “well meaning?” professionals give us dire predictions about our kids’ futures. I have heard several parents say that their doctors told them that their kids will never be able to talk or function normally. Most of the time these predictions are wrong. But that is what we are told. And then when we are surrounded by families with neurotypical children, we see what we do not or may never have. It is all too much to bear sometimes.
But then I got to thinking about an experience I had a couple of years ago. There were a group of us mothers who decided to join a particular homeopathy college as practice clients. For a minimal fee, the students were able to start treating our children. As a side benefit, we were able to join a homeopathy facebook group where we all could have support. It seemed like day after day, child after child was blooming and growing. And the mothers began to express such hope and joy. We were seeing things happening with our kids that hadn’t before. And for the days that we were not seeing gains, we were surrounded with hope and support from the others.
I began to relax and to let go of the reins a little bit (many of us are our kids’ “doctors” as the fees are exhorbitant and the availability of the good healers, few. So we tend to do it all, which is exhausting.) I felt the anxiety wash away, and I saw a difference in our relationship. I could feel a difference in the energy in my home. M started to make strides, and when she was around me, she was like a bee to honey. It was as though we finally came to life. It was like that for a few months. And then there was an issue with the homeopathic college that caused a massive exodus of clients. The whole facebook group was shut down, and those of us who were still with the college were left without support. At that point, the energy wasn’t there anymore.
It might seem that there was something special to that group or to the particular form of homeopathy that the college practiced. But the reality is, there wasn’t. Not really. It was the loving energy of that group, the focus that we all had on healing. And also of letting go of control. We were constantly encouraged to have faith in the healing process, to look at our children with different eyes. To look at them with love, not fear. When we did that, we exuded a different, loving energy that I think our kids felt and responded to. It also was healing to many of us moms who were struggling with many health issues ourselves. The whole family was being treated and given that loving energy from each other and the group online.
I have to admit that since that time, I have not felt the same energy as we did then. But I have glimpses of it, and I find that when I focus on the positive, when I focus on love and hope, that my perception changes. And things happen. When I change my outlook and perception of things, the world changes and things seem to unfold differently. For example, the view of the world outside when it is winter. Right now around Chicago, it is very gray, and even though the trees are bare, there is no snow. So there are no leaves and the sky is drab, but there is still green grass on the ground. I could look outside and say, “Oh it is so gloomy, and look at how dead the trees look.” Or I can look down and notice the green grass, notice how we have had lots of rain that will contribute to a wonderful spring when it comes. The trees are dormant right now, preparing for a few months from now when things sprout and blossom again. It is the same scenery, but two totally different mindsets. This perception can actually change the outcome of your day. Yesterday, I was NOT in the mood to work out. I was drained and really emotionally depleted. I had to FORCE myself to go to the gym. I had not gotten done what I had hoped to during the day, and I just felt so overwhelmed with all of the things that have been on my mind to do, to decide, etc. But I went to the gym, and I did a workout. After that, I did some shopping and made myself a decent tasting protein shake. By the time I got back, my attitude shifted, and I ended up having a decent day. My circumstances did not change, but I consciously chose to focus on the good, on the things that were healthy. While I did not tackle all of my problems, I chose to do what I could and put my energy into that.
The other thing that I have been paying attention to is the mindset of can’t or won’t. I have been thinking these fearful thoughts about what will happen with my daughter if I don’t choose the right therapies or do all of what she needs. The reality about this is, I CAN’T control that. I can do what I think I can accomplish, and then I have to leave the rest up to God. He is the only one who is in control. This is very connected to what we learned in that homeopathic clinic, the release of control. That is a huge struggle for most of us. We want to control everyone and everything, and if we can’t, we are afraid of the outcome. If we allow love and the release of control, things can happen. Maybe even miracles. Of course, there are no guarantees of the latter, but it is a far better life to live in joy, peace and love than it is to live in fear and control.
I encourage you to watch where you focus your thoughts and energies. Join me in looking at your child with hopeful and loving eyes. Truly BE with them and accept them for where they are at. But hold hope for things to come, blossoming to occur. The loving energy you have for your child might be the one thing that unblocks their potential.